Somebody sent this to me and I thought it was great.

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George
Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not
some mid-level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a
smart American. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing
the bill to put your pansy butt through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my butt off and paying, paying, paying? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your butt over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it
takes two parents. And what is going on with gas prices... again? If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.