Early Monday morning, two Detroit police officers were gunned down senselessly and lost their lives. The same day, word came that my wife’s aunt, who was only in her 30’s and had been in a coma for a few months after suffering kidney failure, passed away. She was not a believer. The next day, while on my way to fix a ticket for a headlight out on my car, I blew the engine in that same car. The polite fire chief that drove me to a gas station confessed to me “There are some biorhythms out there today. It started this morning when my dog s---- in my living room floor.”
I spent the next day trying desperately to figure out how to get an auto loan and hearing about an armored car driver that was shot and killed. The next day, after a doctor’s appointment, my wife told me some more bad news. The doctor’s believed that she had colitis, an intestinal bowel disorder that there is no cure for. After applying for a loan with my credit union, I also found out that I was rejected.
That day proved to be too much for me as I finally went to the bathroom at work and cried…and prayed. I confessed to God that I had no idea what was going on. I had never seen such a week of tragedy and pain. I let go of things because I realized that I had no control anyway. That evening, there was more bad news. The brother of a high school friend of my wife’s had been killed in action in Iraq. I finally confessed to my wife, “It’s been a really bad week, hasn’t it?” She agreed.
Shortly thereafter, we received a phone call from my best friend. Steve had a truck, an old S-10 pickup, that he was willing to let me have for only $500, to be paid as I could. After getting off the phone, I told my wife that we had just had an answer to prayer. I then begin to think of what we had seen this week. My wife has been unofficially diagnosed with colitis, to be determined officially by a colonoscopy in a few days. But she probably does not have Crohn’s disease as the doctors originally thought, and that, in itself, is an answer to prayer.
The problem of evil, as it has been called, is something that I cannot explain. I mean, I can give you philosophical arguments to counter it, but I cannot escape the reality of the evil in this world. What I can tell you is that I believe that evil exists in this world because without it, we would never know what joy was. Sometimes, thinly veiled in the background, is that hand of a sovereign God working behind the scenes to draw you closer to Him. Through all the pain, I can still see the faithfulness of my Savior.
“I find through every ounce of pain I feel
That my mind cannot deny that God is real.”
It brings to mind one of my favorite Stephen Curtis Chapman songs:
As I look back on the road I've traveled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.
He is immutable. No matter how much I change, He is the Rock, the Fortress. It is resting in that fact that gives me strength to keep going. It is knowing that he if faithful and true that keeps me trusting and believing. It is the only thing…the only thing…that has kept me trusting and believing.
Friday, February 20, 2004
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